Friday, September 11, 2009
a big jump
Let me reintroduce myself. A woman with legs long enough to have jumped from one bank( glorious, carefree,sunny without a cloud) to the other side( bewildered,lost,cut open ) and managed to make it back to the safe shore, in one long agonizing slow motioned hurdle. All life experiences allow you to reflect ( and I am not the introspective type, more the impulsive one with black and white lenses) but this was big and with the relief that comes with news of good health, I can have a little perspective on it.
I think I was able to separate my physical body from my emotional body in a way that gave me peace in my decision and its consequences. Basically, I relented and accepted. I tried to be as calm as I could be and live each moment , pure as glass. The sense of time is made even more acute in stressful times.You count the days to the big event,then the day comes, and suddenly it is a week after.Inexorably it moves on and changes everything constantly.It is pit of the stomach scary but so achingly soothing when you can recapture the gratitude of each minute, alive and well.
I have been surrounded by beauty.the essence of it:love, love and more love.
What else matters ? it is what makes you fly and give your legs the boost for the jumps,it is the food without which we perish.
I will let myself be cradled , rocked gently on the vaporetto of life, surrounded by cottony waves of love and friendships, I will be present for help when others need it and I will treasure all.