balade

une balade is a leisurely taken walk,or drive.Which is what we did. sort of a milestone. first time out in nature in awhile. back to my place of calmness .so strange. the before and after.crossing some sort of looking glass, no backward moves, it is all forward to a life of renewed pleasures and strengh , where the heart is calm and the vision sharpened.

It is also a sense of continuity, you, alive, back in the landscape you cling to in the darkness, you know you are made of soft breaths, but it is still there, welcoming you back.
Significant and I needed to celebrate.
we went to Nick's cove, a restaurant with a terrace over the water.


The weather was unusually hot, and we were seated outside,watching kayakers and geese slide by.
We had a great meal ( organic, local etc).My tomato soup was the best ever: fresh and vibrant as the colors below prove it:


significant made a glowing comment on his cilantro mignonette with lime for his oysters, just plucked from the nearby waters.
What can I say, we live the dream, we live in paradise, don't you think ?
The chocolate orange semifredo with pistacchios lingered on our tongue as we drove home through redwood forests and cow pastures.

soft and bold

a neighbor brought me this explosively bright bouquet from her garden.zucchini flower filled with fresh ricotta and mint, gently fried to a golden crispness, zucchini mini cubed into a rice salad with feta, raisins and mint...... I love summer bounty.
Movement, transformation,confusion: a watercolor exploring my feelings a few weeks ago.

a big jump

Let me reintroduce myself. A woman with legs long enough to have jumped from one bank( glorious, carefree,sunny without a cloud) to the other side( bewildered,lost,cut open ) and managed to make it back to the safe shore, in one long agonizing slow motioned hurdle. All life experiences allow you to reflect ( and I am not the introspective type, more the impulsive one with black and white lenses) but this was big and with the relief that comes with news of good health, I can have a little perspective on it.
I think I was able to separate my physical body from my emotional body in a way that gave me peace in my decision and its consequences. Basically, I relented and accepted. I tried to be as calm as I could be and live each moment , pure as glass. The sense of time is made even more acute in stressful times.You count the days to the big event,then the day comes, and suddenly it is a week after.Inexorably it moves on and changes everything constantly.It is pit of the stomach scary but so achingly soothing when you can recapture the gratitude of each minute, alive and well.
I have been surrounded by beauty.the essence of it:love, love and more love.
What else matters ? it is what makes you fly and give your legs the boost for the jumps,it is the food without which we perish.
I will let myself be cradled , rocked gently on the vaporetto of life, surrounded by cottony waves of love and friendships, I will be present for help when others need it and I will treasure all.